(no subject)

[1st_eggokage]

DEAR INTERNET, EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURTS. HERE IS A MEME.

The Hypothetical AU Meme: Take any one of the fandoms you know I am familiar with AND give me a type of AU (space opera AU, pirate AU, superhero AU, What-If-X-Happened etc.). I will then explain what story from that fandom I would write for that AU.

GO ON ASK ME ANYTHING I'M ON FIRE

Comments

[verbwinds.livejournal.com]

THE CHICKEN NETWORK BLACKSWAN!AU

[1st-eggokage.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH MAY SHUT UP I AM CRYING

okay so like there is a wardo and a mark. and they are BALLERINAS!! and mark is going to be playing the swan and this is matthew bourne's swan lake so the swan is a boy and it's gay as rainbows

and like idk sean parker is the director and mark makes hearteyes at him and wardo who is mark's lily is like :((((( i love you please notice me :(((((( and maybe they fuck in a haze of drugs or hallucinations because mark is not all there in the head

spoilers there is a happy ending

[verbwinds.livejournal.com]

KSJALDJS YOU KNOW THIS IS CRACKY AS CRACK CAN GET BUT I CAN TOTALLY SEE IT? Ugh I now really need actual Lily and Wardo to meet up and discuss their long lost loves and maybe bang. These are my wishes. This is my life. But I legit ship her with Divya so priorities.

[verbwinds.livejournal.com]

Orrr in a more serious vein Brick, Grease!AU (did I say more serious? I mean more ridiculous)

[1st-eggokage.livejournal.com]

lol OH. MY. GOD. THERE IS ALREADY THAT AU ITS NAME IS DODE.

[verbwinds.livejournal.com]

dy

ing

POINT TAKEN.

[teh-slush.livejournal.com]

BANDOM YUPPIE AU.

IDK WHO AND I DON'T CARE IF ANYONE GETS CHOPPED UP WITH AN AXE JUST GO.

[1st-eggokage.livejournal.com]

omg so okay brendon and spencer are yuppies in love

they eat at dorsia

ryan and jon are stash and vanden

maybe some people die

maybe they don't

idk why do you ask these things

[verbwinds.livejournal.com]

OMG TSN XMEN AU. final answer.

[1st-eggokage.livejournal.com]

oh this is exciting. sean parker is like jean grey or some shit. dustin can go through walls. chris is colossus. spoilers, they are in love. mark has technopath powers. wardo... WARDO IS SCOTT SUMMERS WITH EYEBEAMS BECAUSE THAT IS REALLY FUNNY TO ME IDK WHY. christy is mystique. erica controls the weather. idk what anyone else is suggestions welcome

alternately mark is erik wardo is charles spoilers they are in love too

the end

[verbwinds.livejournal.com]

CRYING FOREVER WARDO IS SCOTT HE IS CYCLOPS THIS IS SOS BEAUTIFUL

and fuck yeah mystique!christy someone needs to make this a reality i nominate you

[evewithanapple.livejournal.com]

THREE WORDS, SARA

NEWSIES
PRIVATE
SCHOOL

[1st-eggokage.livejournal.com]

YESSSSSSS. EVERYONE WEARS PREP SCHOOL UNIFORMS AND IS REALLY REALLY GAY. MEDDA IS THE DRAMA TEACHER FOR SOME REASON. david writes poetry and jack is a troublemaker and spoilers they are in love. also blink and mush are dating because ilthem. SPOT AND RACE HAVE ALL THE SEXUAL TENSION AND OMG I CAN JUST SEE THEM PLAYING ALL THESE SOCIAL POWER GAMES KIND OF LIKE GOSSIP GIRL BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN GOSSIP GIRL SO IDK. i cannot see this AU having much of a plot at all beyond 'mmmmm, prep school uniforms.'

[sour-idealist.livejournal.com]

THE BRICK AU WHERE SOMEHOW EVERYONE GOT TO BE HAPPY.

(...that will be easy.)

[1st-eggokage.livejournal.com]

ahahahahahaha uhhhhhhh EMILY DOESN'T DIE SHE AND DODE RUN AWAY TOGETHER. SO IT'S ABOUT EMILY'S ~DISAPPEARANCE INSTEAD. AND THEREFORE LAURA HAS DONE NOTHING PARTICULARLY ILLEGAL SO SHE AND BRENDAN GET TO BE HAPPYISH (i firmly believe brendan frye will never let himself be 100% happy that is just how he is) AND IDK ABOUT TUG AND THE PIN. KARA CONTINUES TO BE KARA. THE BRAIN CONTINUES TO BE THE BRAIN. ALL IS WELL.

[sour-idealist.livejournal.com]

But... isn't Laura dealing heroin all over the place anyway? And would Emily and Dode even be happy running off into the sunset, since he's just another guy who's trying to put her away? And would Brendan still be angry that Laura drove Emily out?

AUGH I'M NOT SURE IT'S EVEN POSSIBLE TO MAKE EVERYONE IN THIS MOVIE HAPPY. There is a part of me aching for a Brenda/Laura/Emily/Kara/Brain transcontinental roadtrip that starts out with far too much plotting for one car and rapidly turns into a rousing chorus of HOW IS THIS MY LIFE in five-part harmony, but I just... have no idea how it would happen or why.

Ugh I overthink things sorry.

[1st-eggokage.livejournal.com]

1. i firmly believe that dode just loved emily with all his heart and they could have been genuinely happy together BUT WHATEVER WHATEVER I AM A DODE STAN FOR LIFE.

2. NO ONE IS EVER TRULY HAPPY IT'S A RIAN JOHNSON MOVIE.

[sour-idealist.livejournal.com]

Oh, Dode loved the living hell out of Emily, the problem is what she thinks of him. I mean, he's nicer about it, but he's basically doing exactly what she broke up with Brendan for trying to do. I mean, she flat out says "I don't want to be put away and protected!*" and that's exactly what Dode is doing, isn't it? And the fact that she's grateful and needs the protection for the moment doesn't make it better. Basically I think Emily needs to just catch a midnight train going anywhere, as it were.

And if there exists, in the world, graphic spine-tingling horror fanfic and obscenely detailed porn (sometimes in the same fic!) for Disney Princess movies, surely we can also wrestle happiness out of anything.

*ALL THE HEARTS for this girl and this movie, oh my God, I could actually talk for hours about what they did with her.